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Landing the job of your dreams means you need to have a dream to begin with. These exercises will help you identify that dream. You are in the right place if you want to find the right career, your purpose in life, your passion, or simply want to make a career change. This is the starting point. There is no quick quiz to tell you the answer. Instead, go through the two exercises contained here and spend the time it takes to get the answers. These exercises are so powerful that 58% of the people who do them decide to change careers!
The two exercise are: The Seven Stories Exercise® and the Forty-Year Vision®, both registered trademarks of The Five O’Clock Club. In this first exercise, you will examine your accomplishments, looking at your strongest and most enjoyable skills. The core of most coaching exercises is some version of the Seven Stories Exercise. A coach may give you lots of tests and exercises, but this one requires work on your part and will yield the most important results. An interest or personality test is not enough. There is no easy way. Remember, busy executives take the time to complete this exercise—if it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for you.
Do not skip the Seven Stories Exercise. It will provide you with important information about yourself for the direction of your personal life as well as your career. If you’re like most people, you have never taken the time to sort out the things you’re good at and also are motivated to accomplish. As a result, you probably don’t use these talents as completely or as effectively as you could. Too often, we do things to please someone else or to survive in a job. Then we get stuck in a rut—that is, we’re always trying to please someone else or always trying to survive in a job. We lose sight of what could satisfy us, and work becomes drudgery rather than fun. When we become so enmeshed in survival or in trying to please others, it may be difficult to figure out what we would rather be doing.
The direction of change to seek is not in our four dimensions:
it is getting deeper into what you are, where you are,
like turning up the volume on the amplifier.
Thaddeus Golas, Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment
When you uncover your motivated skills, you’ll be better able to identify jobs that allow you to use them, and recognize other jobs that don’t quite fit the bill. Motivated skills are patterns that run through our lives. Since they are skills from which we get satisfaction, we’ll find ways to do them even if we don’t get to do them at work. We still might not know what these skills are—for us, they’re just something we do, and we take them for granted.
Tracking down these patterns takes some thought. The payoff is that our motivated skills do not change. They run throughout our lives and indicate what will keep us motivated for the rest of our lives.
Look at Donald Trump. He knows that he enjoys—and is good at—real estate and self-promotion, and that’s what he concentrates on. You can identify commonalities in your accomplishments—aspects that you must have that will make you happier and more successful. In my case, for example, whether I was a computer programmer, a chief financial officer or a career coach, I’ve always found a way to teach others and often ran small groups — even in my childhood!
One’s prime is elusive….You must be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of life it may occur.
Muriel Spark, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
The Seven Stories Approach:
Background
This technique for identifying what people do well and enjoy doing has its roots in the work of Bernard Haldane, who, in his job with the U.S. government in the 1940s, helped military personnel transition their skills to civilian life. Its overwhelming success in this area won the attention of Harvard Business School where it went on to become a significant part of its Manual for Alumni Placement. Haldane’s work is being carried on today all over the world through DependableStrenghts.org. They have brought Haldane’s method to places as diverse as South Africa and China, to colleges and universities and in their work with young people.
The Seven Stories (or enjoyable accomplishments) approach, now quite common, was taught to me by George Hafner, who used to work for Bernard Haldane.
The exercise is this: Make a list of all the enjoyable accomplishments of your life, those things you enjoyed doing and also did well. List at least 25 enjoyable accomplishments from all parts of your life: work, from your youth, your school years, your early career up to the present. Don’t forget volunteer work, your hobbies and your personal life. Other people may have gotten credit or under-appreciated what you did. Or the result may not have been a roaring success. For example, perhaps you were assigned to develop a new product and take it to market. Let’s say you worked on a project for two years, loved every minute of it, but it failed in the market. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you enjoyed doing it and did it well.
Examine those episodes that gave you a sense of accomplishment. You are asked to name 25 accomplishments so you will not be too judgmental—just list anything that occurs to you. Don’t expect to sit down and think of everything. Expect to think of enjoyable accomplishments over the course of four or five days. Be sure to ask others to help you think of your accomplishments. Most people carry around a piece of paper so they can jot ideas down as they occur to them. When you have 25, select the seven that are most important to you by however you define important. Then rank them: List the most important first, and so on.
Starting with your first story, write a paragraph about each accomplishment. Then find out what your accomplishments have in common. If you are having trouble doing the exercises, ask a friend to help you talk them through. Friends tend to be more objective and will probably point out strengths you never realized.
You will probably be surprised. For example, you may be especially good interacting with people, but it’s something you’ve always done and therefore take for granted. This may be a thread that runs through your life and may be one of your motivated skills. It may be that you’ll be unhappy in a career that doesn’t allow you to deal with people.
When I did the Seven Stories Exercise, one of the first stories I listed was from when I was 10 years old, when I wrote a play to be put on by the kids in the neighborhood. I rehearsed everyone, sold tickets to the adults for two cents apiece, and served cookies and milk with the proceeds. You might say that my direction as a general manager—running the whole show, thinking things up, getting everybody working together—was set in the fourth grade. I saw these traits over and over again in each of my stories.
After I saw those threads running through my life, it became easy for me to see the elements I must have in a career to be satisfied. When I would interview for a job or think of business ideas for myself (or when other people made suggestions), I could find out in short order whether the job or the business idea would address my motivated skills (running small groups, writing books, public speaking, and so on). If it didn’t, I wouldn’t be as happy as I could be, even though I may decide to take certain positions as an interim step toward a long-term goal. The fact is, people won’t do as well in the long run in positions that don’t satisfy their motivated skills.
Sometimes I don’t pay attention to my own motivated skills, and I wind up doing things I regret. For example, in high school I scored the highest in the state in math. I was as surprised as everyone else, but I felt I finally had some direction in my life. I felt I had to use it to do something constructive. When I went to college, I majored in math. I almost flunked because I was bored with it. The fact is that I didn’t enjoy math, I was simply good at it.
There are lots of things we’re good at, but they may not be the same things we really enjoy. The trick is to find those things we are good at, enjoy doing, and feel a sense of accomplishment from doing.
To sum up: Discovering your motivated skills is the first step in career planning. I was a general manager when I was 10, but I didn’t realize it. I’m a general manager now, and I love it. In between, I’ve done some things that have helped me toward my long-range goals, and other things that have not helped at all.
It is important to realize that the Seven Stories Exercise will not tell you exactly which career you should have, but the elements to look for in a career that you will find satisfying. You’ll have a range to consider, and you’ll know the elements you must have to keep you happy. Once you’ve selected a few career possibilities that might satisfy you, talk to people in those fields to find out if a particular field or industry is really what you want, and the possibilities for someone with your experience. That’s one way to test if your aspirations are realistic.
After you have narrowed your choices down to a few fields with some possibilities that will satisfy your motivated skills, the next step is to figure out how to get there.
. . . be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms
and like books that are written in a foreign tongue.
Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
A Demonstration of the Seven Stories Exercise
To get clients started, I sometimes walk them through two or three of their achievement stories, and tell them the patterns I see. They can then go off and think of the seven or eight accomplishments they enjoyed the most and also performed well. This final list is ranked and analyzed in depth to get a more accurate picture of the person’s motivated skills. I spend the most time analyzing those accomplishments a client sees as most important. Some accomplishments are more obvious than others. But all stories can be analyzed.
Here is Suzanne, as an example: “When I was nine years old, I was living with my three sisters. There was a fire in our house and our cat had hidden under the bed. We were all outside, but I decided to run back in and save the cat. And I did it.”
No matter what the story is, I probe a little by asking questions: What was the accomplishment for you? and What about that made you proud? These questions give me a quick fix on the person.
The full exercise is a little more involved than this. Suzanne said at first: “I was proud because I did what I thought was right.” I probed a little, and she added: “I had a sense of accomplishment because I was able to make an instant decision under pressure. I was proud because I overcame my fear.”
I asked Suzanne for a second story; I wanted to see what patterns might emerge when we put the two together: “Ten years ago, I was laid off from a large company where I had worked for nine years.
“I soon got a job as a secretary in a Wall Street company. I loved the excitement and loved that job. Six weeks later, a position opened up on the trading floor, but I didn’t get it at first. I eventually was one of three finalists, and they tried to discourage me from taking the job. I wanted to be given a chance. So I sold myself because I was determined to get that job. I went back for three interviews, said all the right things, and eventually got it.”
What was the accomplishment?
What made her proud?
- “I fought to win.”
- “I was able to sell myself. I was able to overcome their objections.”
- “I was interviewed by three people at once. I amazed myself by saying, ‘I know I can do this job.’”
- “I determined who the real decision-maker was, and said things that would make him want to hire me.”
- “I loved that job—loved the energy, the upness, the fun.”
Here it was, 10 years later, and that job still stood out as a highlight in her life. Since then she’d been miserable and bored, and that’s why she came to me. Normally after a client tells two stories, we can quickly name the patterns we see in both stories. What were Suzanne’s patterns?
Suzanne showed that she was good at making decisions in tense situations—both when saving the cat and when interviewing for that job. She showed a good intuitive sense (such as when she determined who the decision-maker was and how to win him over). She’s decisive and likes fast-paced, energetic situations. She likes it when she overcomes her own fears as well as the objections of others.
We needed more than two stories to see if these patterns ran throughout Suzanne’s life and to see what other patterns might emerge. After the full exercise, Suzanne felt for sure that she wanted excitement in her career, a sense of urgency—that she wanted to be in a position where she had a chance to be decisive and operate intuitively. Those are the conditions she enjoys and under which she operates the best.
Armed with this information, Suzanne can confidently say that she thrives on excitement, high pressure, and quick decision-making. And, she’ll probably make more money than she would in safe environments. She can move her life in a different direction—whenever she is ready.
Pay attention to those stories that were most important to you. The elements in these stories may be worth repeating. If none of your enjoyable accomplishments were work related, it may take great courage to eventually move into a field where you will be happier.
People have to be ready to change. Fifteen years ago, when I first examined my own motivated skills, I saw possibilities I was not ready to handle. Although I suffered from extreme shyness, my stories—especially those that occurred when I was young—gave me hope. As I emerged from my shyness, I was eventually able to act on what my stories said was true about me.
People sometimes take immediate steps after learning what their motivated skills are. Or sometimes this new knowledge can work inside them until they are ready to take action—maybe 10 years later. All the while internal changes can be happening, and people can eventually blossom.
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.
Henry David Thoreau, American writer and philosopher
Motivated Skills—Your Anchor in a Changing World
Your motivated skills are your anchor in a world of uncertainty. The world will change, but your motivated skills remain constant.
Write them down. Save the list. Over the years, refer to them to make sure you are still on target—doing things that you do well and are motivated to do. As you refer to them, they will influence your life. Five years from now, an opportunity may present itself. In reviewing your list, you will have every confidence that this opportunity is right for you. After all, you have been doing these things since you were a child, you know that you enjoy them, and you do them well!
Knowing our patterns gives us a sense of stability and helps us understand what we have done so far. It also gives us the freedom to try new things regardless of risk or of what others may say, because we can be absolutely sure that this is the way we are. Knowing your patterns gives you both security and flexibility—and you need both to cope in this changing world.
Now think about your own stories. Write down everything that occurs to you.
The Ugly Duckling was so happy and in some way he was glad that he had experienced so much hardship and misery; for now he could fully appreciate his tremendous luck and the great beauty that greeted him….And he rustled his feathers, held his long neck high, and with deep emotion he said: “I never dreamt of so much happiness, when I was the Ugly Duckling!”
Hans Christian Andersen, The Ugly Duckling
The Seven Stories Exercise Worksheet
This exercise is an opportunity to examine the most satisfying experiences of your life and to discover those skills you will want to use as you go forward. You will be looking at the times when you feel you did something particularly well that you also enjoyed doing. Compete this sentence: “There was a time when I…” List enjoyable accomplishments from all parts of your life: from your youth, your school years, your early career up to the present. Don’t forget volunteer work, your hobbies and your personal life. Other people may have gotten credit or under-appreciated what you did. Or the result may not have been a roaring success. None of that matters. What matters is that you enjoyed doing it and did it well.
List anything that occurs to you, however insignificant. When I did my own Seven Stories Exercise, I remembered the time when I was 10 years old and led a group of kids in the neighborhood, enjoyed it, and did it well.
When you have 25, select the seven that are most important to you by however you define important. Then rank them: List the most important first, and so on. Starting with your first story, write a paragraph about each accomplishment. Then find out what your accomplishments have in common. If you are having trouble doing the exercises, ask a friend to help you talk them through. Friends tend to be more objective and will probably point out strengths you never realized.
Section I
Briefly outline below all the work/personal/life experiences that meet the above definition. Come up with at least 20. We ask for at least 20 stories so you won’t be too selective. Just write down anything that occurs to you, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Complete this sentence, “There was a time when I …” You may start with, for example, “Threw a fiftieth birthday party for my father,” “Wrote a press release that resulted in extensive media coverage,” and “Came in third in the Nassau bike race.”
Don’t just write that you enjoy “cooking.” That’s an activity, not an accomplishment. An accomplishment occurs at a specific time. You may wind up with many cooking accomplishments, for example. But if you simply write “cooking,” “writing” or “managing,” you will have a hard time thinking of 20 enjoyable accomplishments.
Complete this sentence, “There was a time when I …”
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Section II
Choose the seven experiences from the above that you enjoyed the most and felt the most sense of accomplishment about. (Be sure to include non-job-related experiences also.) Then rank them. Then, for each accomplishment, describe what you did. Be specific, listing each step in detail. Use a separate sheet of paper for each.
Here’s how you might begin:
Experience #1: Planned product launch that resulted in 450 letters of intent from 1,500 participants.
a. Worked with president and product managers to discuss product potential and details.
b. Developed promotional plan.
c. Conducted five-week direct-mail campaign prior to conference to create aura of excitement about product.
d. Trained all product demonstrators to make sure they each presented product in same way.
e. Had great product booth built; rented best suite to entertain prospects; conducted campaign at conference by having teasers put under everyone’s door every day of conference. Most people wanted to come to our booth.
—and so on—
Analyzing Your Seven Stories
Now it is time to analyze your stories. You are trying to look for the patterns that run through them so that you will know the things you do well that also give you satisfaction. Some of the questions below sound similar. That’s okay. They are a catalyst to make you think more deeply about the experience. The questions don’t have any hidden psychological significance.
For now, simply go through each story without trying to force it to come out any particular way. Just think hard about yourself. And be as honest as you can. When you have completed this analysis, the words in the next exercise may help you think of additional things. Do this page first.
Story #1.
What was the accomplishment? ________________________
What about it did you enjoy most?______________________
What did you do best?_________________________________
What motivated you to do this?_________________________
What about it made you proud?________________________
What prompted you to do this? ________________________
What enjoyable skills did you demonstrate? _____________
Story #2.
The accomplishment?_________________________________
Enjoyed most? _______________________________________
Did best? ___________________________________________
A motivator? ________________________________________
Made you proud? ____________________________________
Prompted you to do this?______________________________
Enjoyable skills demonstrated? _________________________
Story #3.
The accomplishment?_________________________________
Enjoyed most? _______________________________________
Did best? ___________________________________________
A motivator? ________________________________________
Made you proud? ____________________________________
Prompted you to do this?______________________________
Enjoyable skills demonstrated? _________________________
Story #4.
The accomplishment?_________________________________
Enjoyed most? _______________________________________
Did best? ___________________________________________
A motivator? ________________________________________
Made you proud? ____________________________________
Prompted you to do this?______________________________
Enjoyable skills demonstrated? _________________________
Story #5.
The accomplishment?_________________________________
Enjoyed most? _______________________________________
Did best? ___________________________________________
A motivator? ________________________________________
Made you proud? ____________________________________
Prompted you to do this?______________________________
Enjoyable skills demonstrated? _________________________
Story #6.
The accomplishment?_________________________________
Enjoyed most? _______________________________________
Did best? ___________________________________________
A motivator? ________________________________________
Made you proud? ____________________________________
Prompted you to do this?______________________________
Enjoyable skills demonstrated? _________________________
Story #7.
The accomplishment?_________________________________
Enjoyed most? _______________________________________
Did best? ___________________________________________
A motivator? ________________________________________
Made you proud? ____________________________________
Prompted you to do this?______________________________
Enjoyable skills demonstrated? _________________________
We are here to be excited from youth to old age, to have an insatiable curiosity about the world. …
We are also here to help others by practicing a friendly attitude. And every person is born for a purpose.
Everyone has a God-given potential, in essence, built into them.
And if we are to live life to its fullest, we must realize that potential.
Norman Vincent Peale, theologian
Let me listen to me and not to them.
Gertrude Stein, author
What seems different in yourself; that’s the rare thing you possess.
The one thing that gives each of us his worth, and that’s just what we try to suppress.
And we claim to love life.
André Gide, author
Stick with the optimists, Niftie.
It’s going to be tough enough even if they’re right.
James Reston, journalist
Optimism Emerges As Best Predictor To Success In Life
“Hope has proven a powerful predictor of outcome in every study we’ve done so far,” said Dr. Charles R. Snyder, a psychologist at the University of Kansas. “Having hope means believing you have both the will and the way to accomplish your goals, whatever they may be. . . . It’s not enough to just have the wish for something. You need the means, too. On the other hand, all the skills to solve a problem won’t help if you don’t have the willpower to do it.”
Daniel Goleman, The New York Times, Dec. 24, 1991
Your Fifteen-Year Vision and Your Forty-Year Vision
by Kate Wendleton, President, The Five O’Clock Club
In my practice as a psychiatrist, I have found that helping people to develop personal goals has proved to be the most effective way to help them cope with problems.
Ari Kiev, M.D., A Strategy for Daily Living
By recording your dreams and goals on paper,
you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be.
Put your future in good hands—your own.
Mark Victor Hansen, American inspirational and motivational speaker
If you could imagine your ideal life five years from now, what would it be like? How would it be different from the way it is now? If you made new friends during the next five years, what would they be like? Where would you be living? What would your hobbies and interests be? How about 10 years from now? Twenty? Thirty? Forty? Think about it!
Some people feel locked in by their present circumstances. Many say it is too late for them. But a lot can happen in 5, 10, 20, 30, or 40 years. Reverend King had a dream. His dream helped all of us, but his dream helped him too. He was living according to a vision (which he thought was God’s plan for him). It gave him a purpose in life. Most successful people have a vision.
A lot can happen to you over the next few decades—and most of what happens is up to you. If you see the rest of your life as boring, I’m sure you will be right. Some people pick the “sensible” route or the one that fits in with how others see them, rather than the one that is best for them.
On the other hand, you can come up with a few scenarios of how your life could unfold. In that case, you will have to do a lot of thinking and a lot of research to figure out which path makes most sense for you and will make you happiest.
When a person finds a vision that is right, the most common reaction is fear. It is often safer to wish a better life than to actually go after it.
I know what that’s like. It took me two years of thinking and research to figure out the right path for myself—one that included my motivated abilities (Seven Stories Exercise) as well as the sketchy vision I had for myself. Then it took 10 more years to finally take the plunge and commit to that path—running The Five O’Clock Club. I was 40 years old when I finally took a baby step in the right direction, and I was terrified.
You may be lucky and find it easy to write out your vision of your future.
Or you may be more like me: It may take a while and a lot of hard work. You can speed up the process by reviewing your assessment results with a Five O’Clock Club career counselor. He or she will guide you along. Remember, when I was struggling, the country didn’t have Five O’Clock Club counselors or even these exercises to guide us.
Test your vision and see if that path seems right for you. Plunge in by researching it and meeting with people in the field. If it is what you want, chances are you will find some way to make it happen. If it is not exactly right, you can modify it later—after you have gathered more information and perhaps gotten more experience.
Start with the Present
Write down, in the present tense, the way your life is right now, and the way you see yourself at each of the time frames listed. This exercise should take no more than one hour. Allow your unconscious to tell you what you will be doing in the future. Just quickly comment on each of the questions listed on the following page, and then move on to the next. If you kill yourself off too early (say, at age 60), push it 10 more years to see what would have happened if you had lived. Then push it another 10, just for fun.
When you have finished the exercise, ask yourself how you feel about your entire life as you laid it out in your vision. Some people feel depressed when they see on paper how their lives are going, and they cannot think of a way out. But they feel better when a good friend or a Five O’Clock Club counselor helps them think of a better future to work toward. If you don’t like your vision, you are allowed to change it—it’s your life. Do what you want with it. Pick the kind of life you want.
Start the exercise with the way things are now so you will be realistic about your future. Now, relax and have a good time going through the years. Don’t think too hard. Let’s see where you wind up. You have plenty of time to get things done.
The 15-year mark proves to be the most important for most people. It’s far enough away from the present to allow you to dream.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Your Fifteen- and
Forty-Year-Vision Worksheet
1. The year is_________(current year).
You are ____________ years old right now.
- Tell me what your life is like right now. (Say anything you want about your life
- as it is now.)
- Who are your friends? What do they do for a living?
- What is your relationship with your family, however you define “family”?
- Are you married? Single? Children? (list ages.)
- Where are you living? What does it look like?
- What are your hobbies and interests?
- What do you do for exercise?
- How is your health?
- How do you take care of your spiritual needs?
- What kind of work are you doing?
- What else would you like to note about your life right now?
Don’t worry if you don’t like everything about your life right now. Most people do this exercise because they want to improve themselves. They want to change something. What do you want to change? Please continue.
2. The year is xxxx (current year + 5).
You are _______ years old. (Add 5 to present age.)
Things are going well for you.
- Tell me what your life is like right at this age? (Say anything you want about your life as it is now.)
- Who are your friends? What do they do for a living?
- What is your relationship with your family, however you define “family”?
- Are you married? Single? Children? (List their ages now.)
- Where are you living now? What does it look like?
- What are your hobbies and interests? ·
- What do you do for exercise?
- How is your health?
- How do you take care of your spiritual needs?
- What kind of work are you doing?
- What else would you like to note about your life right now?
3. The year is xxxx (current year + 15).
You are _______ years old. (Add 15 to present age.)
Things are going well for you.
- Tell me what your life is like right at this age? (Say anything you want about your life as it is now.)
- Who are your friends? What do they do for a living?
- What is your relationship with your family, however you define “family”?
- Are you married? Single? Children? (List their ages now.)
- Where are you living now? What does it look like?
- What are your hobbies and interests?
- What do you do for exercise?
- How is your health?
- How do you take care of your spiritual needs?
- What kind of work are you doing?
- What else would you like to note about your life right now?
The 15-year mark is an especially important one. This age is far enough away from the present that people often loosen up a bit. It’s so far away that it’s not threatening. Imagine your ideal life. What is it like? Why were you put here on this earth? What were you meant to do here? What kind of life were you meant to live? Give it a try and see what you come up with. If you can’t think of anything now, try it again in a week or so. On the other hand, if you got to the 15-year mark, why not keep going?
4. The year is xxxx (current year + 25).
You are _________ years old! (Current age plus 25)
Answer all of the questions above.
Keep going. How do you feel about your life?
You’re allowed to change the parts you don’t like.
5. The year is xxxx (current year + 35).
You are _________ years old! (Current age plus 35)
Answer all of the questions above.
6. The year is xxxx (current year + 45).
You are _________ years old! (Current age plus 45)
Answer all of the questions above.
7. The year is xxxx (current year + 55).
You are _________ years old! (Current age plus 55)
Answer all of the questions above.
(Keep going—don’t die until you are past 80!)
You have plenty of time to get done everything you want to do. Imagine wonderful things for yourself. You have plenty of time. Get rid of any “negative programming.” For example, if you imagine yourself having poor health because your parents suffered from poor health, see what you can do about that. If you imagine yourself dying early because that runs in your family, see what would have happened had you lived longer. It’s your life—your only one. As they say, “This is the real thing. It’s not a rehearsal.”
Related links:
Thinking of Having Your Own Business? Start with the Seven Stories Exercise and Lots of Research
How to Improve Your Position Where You Are
The Value of Having a Long-Term Vision No Matter What Your Age
